her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
