I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
