I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
