Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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