I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
