apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
