she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
