i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
