dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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