Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
