how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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