Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
