I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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