she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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