i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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