if i died would you start the facebook group?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
