the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
