im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
