I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
