So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
