i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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