we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
