I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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