Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
