This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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