Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
