Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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