Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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