I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
