Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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