but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
