you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
