I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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