This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
