the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize