He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
