I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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