It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
