Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
