Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
