saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
