She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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