i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize