I heard we made out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
