Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
