he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
