Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
