So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
don't judge my taste in strippers
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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