I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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