you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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