quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
