Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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