i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
