David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
