Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
