So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
