so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
