don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
