Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
