I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
