im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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