we're blogging at a bar
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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