it wasn't lemon gatorade
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize