Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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