So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
