I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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