:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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