my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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