No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
