Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
