I think i peed on brittanys purse
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
