Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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