Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
