are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize